Mar 28
Everyone,
This week’s question of the week at the Multiples and More site is about advice.
What is the best and worst advice you have ever received on raising your multiples?
I have honestly gotten a lot of good advice from pregnancy and beyond. I am lucky to have a hugely active local multiples club. If I ever have any kind of question, I only need to ask those parents over there and I’m sure I’ll get a few awesome answers. Between this club and my own mom, I think I get a lot of great advice.
The greatest advice I ever got with the twins was on the day that we found out we were having twins. The doctor supervising the ultrasound was one I knew really well. I knew he had twins of his own. He was explaining what we were looking at and measuring those 2 heartbeats. They were amazing to see on the screen. After he was done with the ultrasound, he looked at me and said, “You know I have twin sons who are 11, right? Those first weeks are really hard. Get help.”
Juice was in the ultrasound with me and we spent the 45 minute drive home talking about what he said. It seemed like a good idea so we began to plan how we could have help. And who we could ask to help out.
My parents were planning on coming for the birth this time, and staying 2 weeks to help those first crazy days. Plus, we needed someone to stay with Butterfly. Sadly, they missed the boys birth by 1 day. But they were able to stay 2 whole weeks drinking in the brand new baby stuff.
Then my in laws came to stay with us for one whole month. It was amazing to have another set of hands around. They bailed me out of a dead car, celebrated Butterfly’s 3rd birthday with us, and had a fun time with the babies. They were a big help!
My parents came back for the boys church blessing, and brought my niece Flower along with them. She was 14 at the time and had come to spend a month with us. We had SO much fun with her. We went all over and she was a gem. She changed diapers, cleaned up, took Butterfly to the park, watched movies over and over and over with her, and then watched movies at night with me holding babies.
Once she left, we had 3 weeks without any help. Holy cow. I thought I was going to die a few times. If it wasn’t for my friends here, I don’t think I would have kept my sanity.
After those 3 weeks, my cousin Bee came to stay with us for 3 weeks. She was a lot of fun too! She was 15 and had never really even held a baby before. But boy she did a great job. Butterfly especially loved her fun spirit and cool games she cooked up.
Bee’s family came to pick her up and have a mini vacation with us for a week. Honestly, by this point the boys were 4 months old and had been hauled over the greater Washington DC area. They were great travelers and we had fun being tourists together. We also got photographed by Japanese tourists several times and I can just imagine what they tell their friends when they show them the pictures.
I flew to Utah with my kids and Bee’s family. Juice had work to do so he couldn’t come along. Then we spent almost 6 weeks at my mom’s house. This was heaven. I loved having my parents around to help out and to see all of my friends in Utah.
Once I flew home (with Juice), the boys were almost 6 months old. They were a lot easier. They were over that scary newborn phase and were sleeping 16 + hours a day.
I think I took my doctor’s advice seriously, and I really do believe that it was my key to having sanity while they were so tiny.
The worst piece of advice I think I’ve gotten from strangers. Mostly it’s little stuff. But things they say in passing without even knowing who I am or what I do. If I dress them the same, they say “You should never dress twins alike!” Never mind that my boys are completely different physically. If I don’t dress them the same, “You should always dress twins alike! How fun is that??” “You should have those kids in bed.” “You shouldn’t feed them that!” “You are shining the sun in their faces! Get a hat on those kids!” “You’re making your kids too hot! Take those hats off!”
Seriously, strangers should keep their mouths shut. But there’s something about twins that makes people just want to talk to you.
My best piece of advice for moms of any kind is to take things in stride. This is advice I try to give myself every day too! I see other moms with older kids and see how different their lives are than mine. Each stage has it’s challenges and joys. And I intend to enjoy them all!
Safire
Safireadvice, Bee, Flower, questions, visitors
Aug 08
Everyone,
A few ladies in my ward were getting together to have lunch and explore one of the many many place to go in the state: Havre De Grace. It’s a cute little town on a point of land where the Susquehanna River meets the Chesapeake Bay. I thought since Bee was here, we would tag along and see some of the area that I haven’t seen.
So we all got up early, met everyone at the church and off we went. Butterfly happily watched a movie in the van (whose name is Fern Tree) and the boys slept great. Our lead car promptly got lost when we got to Havre De Grace. We ended up going over the Susquehanna River by mistake and I watched the driver of the car have an argument with the toll lady. We really did make a wrong turn and ended up on the bridge with no where to go because of construction. In the end, we didn’t have to pay the toll and went back over the bridge. 
We got back into town, only to turn around yet again. By this time, both boys are screaming because they are hungry and Butterfly is crying because she has to potty. By the third time turning around, I gave up and stopped. I was smart this time and brought our little potty with us and some plastic bags. So Butterfly was able to use the potty, I fed the boys and then took care of the potty. Not my finest moment but at least she didn’t have an accident in the car and I didn’t have to rush around the town trying to find a bathroom for her.
Anyway, we met back up with the ladies and walked around the boardwalk on the river. Pirate was having a really hard time and so I had to stop and feed him again in the hot sun. Ugh…he was covered in sweat because I covered him up so he wouldn’t burn. He did get rosy cheeked and stayed that way all day. He was dead set on being carried all day long and I was never so happy for my wrap. After the boardwalk, Professor was having a hard time so I had to stop again and the ladies decided to go on ahead.
Bee and I decided to walk the town to meet everyone for lunch. It was fun but a little hot. And then when we finally found the restaurant, everyone was sitting outside. I had been carrying Pirate (who finally fell a
sleep!) so I was really hot. I almost asked the waitress to fill up a pitcher of water and ice and leave it for me. I drank quite a bit and filled up our water bottles there. Lunch was okay. All the other ladies had sea food and they said it was wonderful. I do not eat anything that lives in water so I ended up with a turkey wrap. Bee the same.
After lunch, we went our own way and walked back to the van which we left by the light house. We stopped off at a famous ice cream place for something cool. It was good but I have to say our local ice cream place is better ice cream. But it was a welcome break and we sat inside. I fed the boys again and they finally calmed down and stopped crying.
We had a nice time wandering around the light house and taking a bunch of pictures. I ended up feeding the boys (yes AGAIN…they eat a ton all the time but does it stop me? No.) looking out at the river while Bee and Butterfly played. (Something about the cannon from the war in 1812 being a look and listen scope.)
We finally got everyone piled into th
e car, strapped in and Butterfly announces she has to go potty. So I decided to drive to the public bathrooms I’d seen signs for in town. Well, she couldn’t wait and there was an out house by a construction site. Boy was it awful though. So she again used her little potty and I did not have to use a plastic bag this time. Yay.
We then headed home. Both boys slept some, and Butterfly watched more movies in the back. Well, we didn’t leave till about 3:30pm and I forgot it was Friday. Guess what that means? TRAFFIC. Boy did we ever hit traffic in Baltimore. I gave up and went towards Columbia since I know how to get home from the mall there. We ended up stopping at the mall to feed the boys. But then we had to have a potty break (for the big girls) so we loaded everyone up in the stroller and went inside. We had a cookie, came back out and loaded everyone back into the car. The whole thing took almost an hour. Just for a potty break. Ugh.
(An aside…I forgot to lock the wheels on my Bob so when I lifted it up to put it into the car, one of the wheels rolled away. I didn’t notice until I tried to take it off and it wasn’t there. I could not wrap my mind around where it would have gone. Some guy had to come out of his car and get it for me and bring it back because I had no idea where it ran off to. A little embarrassing because he said, “I’m amazed you didn’t see that roll away.” Sleep deprivation is my only excuse.)
After the mall, it was smooth sailing and we were back home. Ahh…home.
My Aunt and Uncle and Bee’s Brother come into town tonight. We have stuff going on every day next week, and then we’re off to Utah!
Safire
SafireBee, feeding boys, sights around DC
Aug 07
Everyone,
We have been busy here. Out playing! Today is a day to recover so I hope to get the rest of the pictures organized and maybe a nap. I am tired!
On Monday we were able to go to Annapolis with my friend Laura and her little boy Andrew. Butterfly and Andrew are a week apart. Included in this trip was a trip to the water front, a tour of public bathrooms with 2 newly potty trained 3 year olds, and lunch outside. We had a great time and apparently I didn’t take any pictures worth showing. So here are a few that Laura took.
Bee’s one request when she was visiting here was to go to the beach. Funny, that was Flower’s request as well! So we packed up the car and drove out to the beach. 
We had been there with Flower just a few months before. We had a few friends invited but they were unable to make it due to tire trouble. We still had a pretty good time. It was very windy that day and my little shade thing kept blowing over. We ended up taking down almost half of it which at least gave us a little square of shade.
We had to leave the bug netting off. I didn’t think it would be a big deal but apparently it was. The biting flies were ferocious! Poor little Professor got bitten on his head and he was UNHAPPY. I don’t blame him because they bit me on my ankles several times. Ouch! At least we had a tiny pup tent for Butterfly that I commandeered for the boys and they took a small nap inside.
Today at the beach was full of marine wildlife. Beyond the several seagulls (which Butterfly calls geese) and the tiny fish in the surf, we saw some baby crabs, a horse shoe crab, and jelly fish! The jelly fish were annoying. They were big and hurt! Both Bee and I got stung and we didn’t even go swimming that deep. The jelly fish also made it so Butterfly did not want to be in the water. We had fun playing in the sand and eating hot dogs and enjoying the sound of the water. Juice did not have as good of a time this time. It was hot, the flies were bad and I frequently left him with both boys to go play in the surf with Butterfly and Bee. I had a great time. So did Bee. But this is a big note to myself: go to the beach in June and not August.
In between playing around the area with Bee, we’ve been having some down days. We’ve been playing some card games and watching a lot of movies. It’s been great to have someone here to play with Butterfly. She has declared Bee her cousin and not mine. I apparently can’t have any cousins. I think it’s fun that she loves our helpers so much. It makes it that much easier!
Tomorrow we’re off on another adventure!
Safire
Safirebeach, Bee, family visiting, sights around DC
Aug 02
Everyone,
I just looked at my pictures from when the boys were first born and up through now. I have over 700 pictures spanning 3 months. Yikes, how am I ever going to go through them and organize them!? I have to because eventually I’ll be scrapbooking them (probably in about 2 years…I am horribly behind) and I really won’t remember what was happening or who was what unless I at least label some of them. I did at least get all of July done so if you’re on my picture list, you should have gotten them.
We are having fun with Bee. It was so nice for me this morning to lay in bed until 10am and know that Butterfly was taken care of. We haven’t done much beyond grocery shop and regroup from no help but we’re off on some adventures next week. I can’t wait for the beach again!
A friend at church just gave me a huge bin full of boy clothes. Mostly 18 month to 4T. This is going to be a huge help when they are older! She said she wished she had 2 of everything, but I’m glad she doesn’t because it looks like the boys’ body types will be different and I would have ended up buying 2 separate things anyway. She gave me a bunch of really cute sweaters and such so I’m excited for them to be old enough to wear them. She says she is excited to see the clothes on my boys and remember her boy in them. Ahh…good times.
A big shout out to my sil and her twins who are finally home from the hospital! We can’t wait to meet them!
Safire
SafireBee, clothes, family pictures, twins
Aug 01
Everyone,
That is a sigh of relief in the title, not a scream for help. We have help again! My wonderful cousin is here for about 2 and a half weeks. She is 15 and so fun and cute! We’re going to call her Bee on here. Anyway, it’s been so nice to have another set of hands, although Pirate screams bloody murder whenever she picks him up. I think it’s a combination of a few things with him. (I’ll get into it later.) And Professor is happy as long as he’s full and someone is holding him.
Today we went to a park with my mom’s group. One of our members had moved away and was here visiting and settling on her house. So we went to the park to visit with them and let the kids play. Butterfly was so cute. At one point all the girls were in the train, she found me, got a huge smile on her face and said, “Mommy I’m playing with all my friends!” She was so happy. It was so cute. I like that friends are starting to be a big part of her life.
Wednesday night I was able to go out with the ladies in my church and have a nice dinner and some kid free swimming and conversation. It was great. Just what I needed. Although I did worry about leaving Juice with all three kids. He did fine and there was no one crying when I walked in the door. Little did I know that Professor was breathing in between screams when I came in. Still, he was easily calmed and I was happy to be home.
On Thursday, we had a dentist appointment in the morning. It was fun to show off the boys to our dentist. She is very nice. I got x-rays, the first time in about 18 months. And I have a cavity. Yay. It seems like every time I go to see her I am either pregnant or I have a cavity.
From the dentist, I had to rush off to the airport to pick up Bee since her flight was about half an hour early. Apparently they had a good tailwind. Juice had another bout of 3 kids and no mommy. I walked right up to her at the baggage claim and we walked right back out to the car. We hit a little bit of traffic on the way home but nothing the HOV lane couldn’t fix.
By the time I got home, Pirate had had enough! Where was his mommy! He spent most of that night plastered to my side wanting to nurse. Poor kid. And Professor was grumpier than normal. Butterfly took right to Bee after a moment of shyness. She keeps saying that Bee and Flower are her best friends.
Oh, I hear someone waking up so I have to go. Pictures soon! And the other contest!
Safire
SafireBee, dentist, helpers
Then my in laws came to stay with us for one whole month. It was amazing to have another set of hands around. They bailed me out of a dead car, celebrated Butterfly’s 3rd birthday with us, and had a fun time with the babies. They were a big help!
My parents came back for the boys church blessing, and brought my niece Flower along with them. She was 14 at the time and had come to spend a month with us. We had SO much fun with her. We went all over and she was a gem. She changed diapers, cleaned up, took Butterfly to the park, watched movies over and over and over with her, and then watched movies at night with me holding babies.
I think I took my doctor’s advice seriously, and I really do believe that it was my key to having sanity while they were so tiny.
