BlogHer Take Away



If you look back in my archives, you’ll see that I haven’t written much this past year. It’s not because I haven’t had much to say. I’ve had a lot of things to say actually. But none of those things I wanted to publish. None of them I’ve wanted to put out on the internet.

When I opened my blog with every intention of writing, everything I put down seemed hollow. Shallow. Not worth even posting. Looking back at the things I tried to write, they WERE worth posting. I should have posted. But I just couldn’t bring myself to put such trivial stuff on my blog when so much BIG stuff was happening. So I didn’t put anything up. And then, I didn’t even put the big happy stuff up. Like birthdays and milestones and Christmas. I felt like I couldn’t post at all. I was blocked.

Lolli convinced me to go with her to BlogHer this year in New York City. It didn’t take long to convince me. We went together in 2010 and had a great time. I was looking forward to spending time with her (we don’t get to see each other much these days it seems) and spending some time away from my family just being a person. Then Lolli won an amazing prize and got to share it with me. So BlogHer went from being a fun trip away to an amazing FREE trip away.

So we planned. And smiled. I felt happy. Excited. I finally felt like blogging a bit again. The big things were still there, but not so…looming. So we went. We had an amazing time.

I went to ONE session the whole time. It was all about blogging because you love it. Here’s the class description taken from the BlogHer website:

The Personal

Some of the loudest voices on the internet tell you that you need to monetize, grow, get PR contacts, and have a stronger media presence. Other loud voices are on either side of a partisan line, engaged in political gamesmanship and one-upmanship. But there are quieter voices in the blogosphere who have been raising their hand lately and reminding us all that they are here, and that their passion and devotion to personal expression is what the blogosphere has thrived on for over a decade: meet the bloggers who blog for the love of it. Blogging provides immeasurable gifts that may never result in quantifiable “success metrics.” Success can mean living a higher quality of life because your blog simply means something to you and others. It makes you and your readers happy, makes you think, makes you feel.

I was late to the class but I enjoyed the time I spent there. They talked about blogging because you love it. Not because you want followers (I do). Or because you love the followers (I do that too!) But blog because YOU love it.

And when you blog, be truthful. I sat there listening to the questions being asked and I thought about my blog. I am not being truthful on here. I want things to be rosy. I want to make the picture of our life to be good. Because it is good 90% of the time. And when I (eventually) print this blog into a family book, I want it to reflect what we are.

But if I leave out the bad, then it’s not REALLY who we are is it? When I couldn’t paint the picture of us as we were, I didn’t want to “paint” at all.

I am going to try my hardest to get back to sharing. Because I really do love to blog. It’s just hard to open up when things are bad. But that class reminded me that if I am truthful, I will come to know myself even better.

That is my ONE takeaway from the entire trip. There was lots more. Lots more fun and exciting things that happened! But I want this to be more than the swag I brought home from the trip. I want this to be something I can talk about with you instead of just showing you.

So in an effort to know myself better, here is one truth about me. (Baby steps, I don’t think I can handle more than one thing each right now.)

Truth about me: I am feeling second best to everything and everyone right now.

Anyone want to share their one truth?


13 Comments (+add yours!)

  1. jodifur
    Aug 06, 2012 @ 21:57:00

    It was wonderful to see you, even if it was only for a hot minute here and there.


    • Safire
      Aug 24, 2012 @ 13:40:31

      I loved seeing you too! Next time, we’ll have to have some time to chat. (Hahaha)


  2. Dad
    Aug 07, 2012 @ 12:00:39

    To be truthful is a brave thing, sweetie. When I wrote out my life story, I was not very brave. In some ways I wanted to get a bunch of things off my chest, but in other ways, I felt some things were too private. Mom had significant influence on the content in that way, she being a very private person and all.

    I have been thinking about blogging again myself. I wanted to talk about abuse, raising children, the successes and mistakes, how I feel about getting older, planning for the next phase in my life, photography and my ongoing path down that road, etc. but I have a tendency to the morose and negative a lot of times so I hold back. While there is a lot that is right in my life, my OCD tells me there is a lot to fix. I dwell on that too much.

    So, maybe we chat about this when you are visiting, I would be interested in the conclusions you have come to and maybe I can come to a few of my own.



    • Safire
      Aug 24, 2012 @ 13:41:39

      We never talked about this during my trip there. Another time.


  3. Lolli @ Better in Bulk
    Aug 07, 2012 @ 20:05:05

    One truth? Just one? I need to spend more time with you. I had such a good time this weekend, but it was so hectic and so busy. My favorite time? Punch-drunk laughing over Yo-Elvis!

    Other than that? I feel like I’m just trying to keep my head above water. That’s me. I also try to make things look rosy. I haven’t been personal at all on my blog lately. I just don’t have the emotional energy to deal with what is really going on.

    And then, when I say that, my mind shouts back, “Oh, but it really isn’t THAT bad…”


    • Safire
      Aug 24, 2012 @ 13:42:26

      YoElvis is awesome!! That’s what I enjoyed the most this weekend too. We need more time together!


  4. Chloe
    Aug 10, 2012 @ 15:13:18

    Wow, Safire. We so should have bumped into each other at BlogHer. I worked on my alexa score (got it under 200K), chased twitter followers (almost made 1K), built up my Facebook page, and all the while my real life was falling apart and I didn’t even know it.

    I went to BlogHer last year full of passion and purpose and plan to conquer the blogging world. And in the meantime I started to believe my own press. On January 2nd found out that life wasn’t quite so grand and that maybe if I paid absolutely zero attention to my husband while I chased the blogging brass ring that someone else just might.

    Luckily, things were addressed before they got further out of hand and our 25 year marriage got flushed down the toilet, but in the meantime I stopped writing altogether.

    At first I didn’t want to tell the truth, and then I felt like I couldn’t. And if I couldn’t tell the big truths then everything else felt like a lie.

    In February I went to Blissdom (tickets already paid for) and went to one session. It was about loving yourself and blogging and I cried and cried and cried.

    Now I’m back writing again and it feels good. But I need to be mindful not to let my blog rule my life. I’ve decided that blogging is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master.

    Anyway, just stopping by to say that I really resonated with what you wrote here. I’m also trying to find my way between human being and writer. I haven’t figured it out.


    • Safire
      Aug 24, 2012 @ 13:44:31

      Chloe, I’m glad I’m not alone in my thoughts. It’s hard to be a person in the real world AND a person online. There is a fine balance of what needs to happen. If you find it, let me know! :)


  5. Julie
    Aug 13, 2012 @ 17:45:23

    Safire – I love you. And I miss you! One truth – I miss talking to my friends. I miss saying what I truly want to say without worrying about whether it might or might not be “right” to say, and who’s listening. I think I’ll love it here once we get settled (we are still living out of suitcases for a few more weeks) and everyone is very welcoming, but I can’t just pick up the phone and pour my heart out, or better yet – go to bookclub and purge and laugh so it’s not a big deal anymore. We are fine, so I feel stupid sitting here crying like a baby, but I didn’t know how pent up I was until I’ve tried to express it and just keep pressing backspace because the words won’t come out. I guess that’s my truth – I’m all pent up inside with nowhere to expend it. Does that make sense? Oh, and I miss you. :-)


    • Safire
      Aug 24, 2012 @ 13:46:00

      Aww…miss you too Julie! Sad you moved so far away. That almost everyone in book club moved so far away. I hope that you’ll be able to find that kind of group you can be yourself with. Until then, there’s always email! Write me if you need to!


  6. Alexandra
    Aug 14, 2012 @ 19:01:41

    So honored that the take away for you was from our panel.

    I hope that what I wanted to say came across: that by being honest (and that can be done without the “ugly:) that we grow closer to ourselves and also with our readers.

    When we break through and share, we reclaim who we are as whole and worthy, and we bless our readers with a place where they can be without a false front.

    i ‘d love to talk to you more, if you’d like, please email me.

    Alexandra, Good Day Regular People at aschultze at wi dot rr dot com .

    I really hope you do.


    • Safire
      Aug 24, 2012 @ 13:46:52

      Thanks for stopping by. It was really an enjoyable panel. I have thought about it many times since then. I will be in touch.


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