Welcome To Camp!

18 Comments

Everyone,

We are so excited for you to join us at Camp I Do It Myself But Can You Help Me this year!  Looking at our schedule, we can see that we are going to have a wonderful and meaningful time at Camp IDIMBCYHM (pronounced: i-do-it).  We hope all you campers take advantage of our sessions, listed below.

Walking Across the Street: Our campers will be proficient at screaming and jello legs in the middle of the street while cars are bearing down upon their helpless bodies.  Once that is mastered, the tuck-hands and run-from method will be introduced.

Walking In Crowds: We pride ourselves on two different methods for walking crowds.  One, the bolt and flee method will teach our campers the joy of placing as many strangers between them and their parents as possible.  Our signature “jello legs” will help when the crowds become too dense for proper bolting.  Thus enabling campers to flop when trampling is most likely.  Bonus for campers who are multiples: training in 2 methods at once!

Walking Anywhere: This session will teach campers how to keep their mind occupied on anything except what their caretakers need them to do.  Scuffing shoes, jumping in puddles, and general lethargy will be discussed.

Food, good to eat hard to open: Campers will be masters of twisting hard to open packages away from helping adult hands.  Proper timing for fiddling with said package and then handing it back, will ensure strongest demands on patience.  If this is not enough, proper pitch of “NO!” will be taught, as well as our camp theme song, “I Do It!” in all screeching decibels.

Selecting your Utensils, it Really Does Matter: Think that silver goes with anything?  Our campers will know the truth of that matter!  Skills include, proper insistence on the utensils that will make the most mess and be the least effective, matching really does matter, and favoritism (when you will only eat with one spoon, ever.)  Campers will quickly master the art of distinguishing between two seemingly identical items.

Self Medication: Even when our campers get sick, there are opportunities to learn.  Come learn how to insist on pouring medication (cough syrup, liquid pain killers, and antibiotics) and holding the tiny cup they come in.  Bonus will be given for spilling the last dose in the bottle or the whole bottle at the beginning of the dosage.  Double bonuses for spilling prescription medication or non-dye free medicine.

Shoes: Are you sure our campers need them?  Our toes don’t get THAT cold.  Should 0ur campers decide that shoes are necessary, they will be taught lessons such as: finding the missing shoe without help (or looking), difficult buckle dexterity, and projectile usage.  Siblings will be taught to aim at the most tender spots, ie: face, shins, and head.

Proper Vehicle Exit and Entry Procedures: It seems easy, but our campers will learn to make it complicated!  A list of requisite steps provide opportunities to stop and scream should anything be overlooked.  Our skilled camp advisers will guide our campers through changing the rules at a moments notice to maximise frustration.  Avid participates will enjoy the face flop, the legs broken, the getting stuck and refusing assistance.  Campers will excel at the redo, or how to force your care takers into starting from the very beginning.

As you can see, we are going to have a full time at Camp I-Do-It.  You will thank us for the opportunity to partake in this rich and meaningful experience. We at Camp I-Do-It are looking forward to sharing this genuine sense of belonging and a safe, healthy, and happy camp experience with you!

Safire

18 Comments (+add yours!)

  1. Valinda
    Feb 01, 2011 @ 00:10:30

    LOL I have a few advanced Campers at my house! This was a great laugh, thanks, sorry it was at your expense.

    Reply

    • Safire
      Feb 01, 2011 @ 23:41:07

      Hey look! Youth leaders!

      Reply

  2. rainsplats
    Feb 01, 2011 @ 03:21:31

    Have you been giving my girls lessons on the sly?…love your sense of humor. get lots of hugs from your campers!

    Reply

    • Safire
      Feb 01, 2011 @ 23:40:49

      Yep, been sending my camp advisers over to “help out”. Glad to hear they are doing their job. :)

      Reply

  3. Kirsten
    Feb 01, 2011 @ 09:14:43

    Funny post! Although I am sure not so funny in real life. I have been there before, and am in the beginning stages of it again, but not with two at the same time. Lots of luck!

    Reply

    • Safire
      Feb 01, 2011 @ 23:40:01

      This stage is one of my least favorite with kids. Sigh…independence comes with a price, I guess!

      Reply

  4. Dad
    Feb 01, 2011 @ 11:49:11

    You were inspired, Sweets!

    Very funny!

    Dad

    Reply

    • Safire
      Feb 01, 2011 @ 23:39:10

      J and I had so much fun writing it, there will be more like it!

      Reply

  5. debora
    Feb 01, 2011 @ 15:09:49

    Wonderful read!
    Have you heard of, “Love and Logic”? It might help with your sanity.

    Reply

    • Safire
      Feb 01, 2011 @ 23:38:50

      Thanks for the book suggestion. Not sure what kind of logic comes into play with a 2 year old, but I’ll have to check it out.

      Reply

      • The Flower Maiden
        Feb 04, 2011 @ 04:04:33

        Love and Logic is pretty cool. We work a modified version that works for us.

        Reply

        • Safire
          Feb 13, 2011 @ 22:47:05

          Cool, it’s on my list of books to check out.

          Reply

  6. Ida Cole
    Feb 01, 2011 @ 15:31:52

    love it just what I needed right now!!!!

    Reply

    • Safire
      Feb 01, 2011 @ 23:38:21

      Glad to give you a laugh Ida! Hope you’re doing okay.

      Reply

  7. Mary
    Feb 02, 2011 @ 21:56:19

    So funny! and unfortunately accurate. It sure is nice to be able to laugh about these experiences…afterwards.

    Reply

    • Safire
      Feb 03, 2011 @ 23:01:35

      Yes, afterwards! During…it’s really not that funny. When my kids have toddlers, I’m going to watch closely and snicker at them and remember what they did to me!

      Reply

  8. The Flower Maiden
    Feb 04, 2011 @ 04:05:31

    Where’s the camp for the snarky five year olds? ;)

    Reply

    • Safire
      Feb 13, 2011 @ 22:46:37

      Ohhh! We should find that one!

      Reply

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