Question of the Week: Crying It Out



This week’s question of the week at the Multiples and More site is about crying it out. 

Crying it out is a way to sleep train your kids, by letting them cry in their beds until they fall asleep.  Putting it like that it seems pretty harsh but I don’t think it is.
How do you feel about CIO?
I think you have to do whatever you feel you need to do in order to get sleep.  Everyone needs sleep.  Everyone.  Kids, parents, dogs, the turtle.  Everyone.  And if co-sleeping, crying it out, or another sleep method works for you, it works!  And when everyone sleeps, everyone is happier.
  • Did you use this method for sleep training? Are you against it?
I’m not against it.  We used it with Butterfly.  Butterfly was a horrible sleeper.  And crying it out for her was horrible.  There was a lot of crying.  A lot.  And there was a lot of crawling out of her room.  And a lot of tears.  And a lot of late night wakings and even more crying.  Mostly from me.  Sleep and Butterfly was never a good combination.
Now the boys were champion sleepers and always have been.  We’ve never really had to cry it out with them because they just slept.  I can’t explain it.  If they had been my first kids I would have thought I was this amazing parent!  But now I know that a lot of the sleeping issues kids have are individual to them.  Or I’ve become more calloused to the crying.  Either way, everyone sleeps now and it’s good.
  • How well did/do your multiples sleep?

Like I said, the boys are great sleepers.  All 3 kids are in one room now.  And they sleep.  They all sleep really well.  They sleep through each other screaming.  They sleep through us changing Butterfly’s sheets in the middle of the night.  They sleep through people being sick, people needing some extra loving, and Butterfly’s crazy talking.  And if they do wake up, they drop right back off to sleep.  It’s awesome.  And I’m super lucky.  I know.

  • Do you think you are/were more likely to allow a child to CIO because he/she is a multiple?

Nope, I think this has nothing to do with it.  We did it with just one kid.

  • What instances do you think it is appropriate, or inappropriate to allow a child to CIO?
I think it’s not a good idea to let kids cry it out when they are sick.  And sometimes, kids just need a little extra love and attention at bedtime.  I think that those requests/need for attention at bedtime need to have a limit though.  Butterfly wants to cuddle at night lately.  We play music in their room to help them calm down.  I tell her I can cuddle for one song and then I need to leave.  This boundary seems acceptable to her, mostly because that’s all there is.
In the end, you need to do what is best for you and your family.  Because sleep is probably the most precious thing you could ever wish for with small children.

2 Comments (+add yours!)

  1. Erin
    Jul 18, 2010 @ 22:03:58

    Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do! I think the most surprising thing for us was that if one woke up the other one would sleep through it. That was probably the biggest factor in how we got to 13 months without a good nights sleep. As soon as there was a peep we’d be flying down the hall to calm down the one that was awake with a bottle and some rocking. We totally trained them to wake up.


    • Lani
      Jul 18, 2010 @ 22:49:35

      I agree- each family has to do what works for them. And, how nice that your boys are such good sleepers:)


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